In the last two weekends, I have begun the practice of not dialing in any alarm in my phone for morning wake up. Fortunately I don’t have any house helps who ring the bell anytime before 9 am. I sleep late on Friday night after watching a movie or reading a book and make it a point to not know the time before sleeping because like most of us I have a natural reaction of disappointment or horror to learn how I have fallen off the wagon.
I find routines self -soothing and after becoming a parent , having a routine became essential. In the midst of adhering to a routine I also became a slave to the clock. On the one hand it gives me good health and pace of life , on the other hand it also made me constantly disappointed with myself for not being able to finish the task list , skipping my unwinding activities etc etc.
Hence began the experiment to let go of the watch for atleast one activity of the day. It was still summer when this trial began with my morning walks. I left my phone at home and did not wear a watch. I trusted my body to tell me when it was exhausted to turn me back home. In a few days I obviously learnt to predict the time by the opening of shops, seeing similar faces on the road, a dog out for a walk and so many other telltale signs of life around.
Its monsoon now, morning walks are no longer possible with schools opened , but I still manage to take a walk at night sans a phone or a watch. I have never needed music or conversation to enjoy my walks , infact I prefer it like that.
On the weekends now I ensure I do not keep any agendas for the first half of the day. This has helped me in not feeling guilty of waking up to whatever time and not panicking for breakfast prep or lunch.
I had a friend who visited me recently and we consciously decided not to have any to do list of our time together. We had the most enjoyable conversations, most joyous outings to the local farmer’s market , we had late lunches and dinners (that’s most unlike me) and yet I never felt the urge to correct anything in the day.
There are three kinds of people when it comes to time adherence
Punctuals –who do everything with the clock ,
feel guilty when they can’t or don’t ,
get irritated with the one’s who cant adhere to their timelines
Are usually inflexible with their routines
Feel overwhelmed with spontaneous plans
Feel anxious when they have unexpected visitors or guests
Blame everyone else for bad outcome of plans
I have been here and done all this.
Latecomers – who begin to move after 2 hours of scheduled plans or timings
Who never feel guilty when they miss events or flights
Who never feel the urge to keep up with the world
Are super flexible with plans and don’t really care what they are
Never feel anxious with surprise of events , plans or people
Don’t blame anyone for anything , neither self nor others.
I have friends who can do this and I look upto them for inspiration
Balance seekers – who are mostly punctual when it comes to work or professional commitments but can let go in other personal avenues. They are efficient without being anxious or overwhelmed. The have an inherent calmness within , which percolates to people and events around them. They are flexible and yet resistant when it matters . They can say no when required and are malleable when they can be.
Obviously my aspirational place to be.
In my observation the pros of letting go of the watch for at least one activity of the day or for letting go of all routines and timings on the weekend are as follows
- Real appreciation of being in the present moment
- Drastic reduction in feeling out of control or overwhelmed
- Enhanced fulfillment in activity being done whether it was just a walk or watering the plants
- Ease in completing the usual activities I found downright boring like answering emails or sending reminders to clients.
- Reduced FOMO for whatever I could not do like watching a movie or the gathering I did not go to
- More joy in whatever time I got to enjoy with a friend or my kids or with myself
- Lesser anxiety with the incomplete task lists or poor results of any activity.
- Lesser self -blame and guilt of leaving things unfinished for the time being and more joy in coming back to them.
- Lesser attachment of self- worth to one’s work or its results or people’s reactions to it
- Higher satisfaction of doing things with more focus and joy
Choose your favourite activity of the day to give up the time keeping. It could be your morning tea with someone or yourself. It could be bedtime music or book reading on a Friday. It could be your meditative breathing practices in the evening. It could be a stroll with a someone or yourself. It could be your bath time atleast on the weekend.
This advisory is for overall healthy individuals, people who feel anxiety or overwhelm on a daily basis but can handle it without any medication, who are looking for more calmness and joy.
Any of this advisory is not for individuals who are struggling with
- Sleep issues
- Digestive issues
- ADHD /Depression/Mental health issues
- Migraines or lower backaches
Making and being consistent with healthy routines is the one of the keys to manage or get rid of these issues. So kindly do not let go yet and take the support of buddies or family members to adhere to your routines.
Wishing you all easier days and restful nights.